If you've been here before...

I was wandering through my old posts....woah. I forgot some of the places I've been in the last couple of years, it makes more sense now why I've got PTSD. I've been jerked from job to job for some time now. So to catch you up...bullets!

* still in the office! been back inside just over 2 years.

* we doubled the size of the billing office since we took over billing for the entire county. we've got some growing pains, but nothing monumental.

* in those 2 years I have gone to medic school, huge big deal! Over 600 hours of clinical time and something like 400 hours classroom time. I gained 20 pounds, some great new friends, some insane skills and most importantly, confidence in myself.

* I just recently got a second job at the hospital,but haven't started that yet. I can't wait!

* our consolidation with the county that started with my first job change, is finally coming to an end, the transition period ends Tuesday. 

*life at home is great! JJ is my rock, he keeps me sane.

* all four kids are in college this semester and although I have been continuing to get my nursing pre-reqs done, we decided that we can't afford for me to go to school until either the kids are done or I can get an employer to help me out. 

That's about it, if I think of anything else...I'll let ya know

Ho-hum Day

Normal day, nothing exciting. I worked 10 hours, 2 hours OT, yeah. Getting caught up. It's still drudgery followed by another day of drudgery. I often feel like I hate my life. Not feeling very positive, I need to rethink that.

Hello

Most of this blog contains posts about where I've been, why I've not posted...hello again type stuff. I now believe that anybody looking, has ,long ago ,wandered off?

Wow!

It's been a while.....

Taking Control (for the first time)

I shared a little bit yesterday, I'm back in the office, doing Ambulance Billing. Its nice to work with familiar people in a pleasant environment again.
So here we go with Suzi's Career v1.0.my.choice.this.time.
A few days into the change back, I got a postcard for a paramedic class that would be starting soon. Intrigued, I looked up the school, I could afford it, and the schedule worked for me, so it sounded like a match made in heaven...little did I know, just how perfect it would be for me!
A little back story is needed here, I have never (ever, EVER) taken an active role in my own life, I'm learning to belay my fears of the unknown, I have put a lot of energy into making people believe I'm living my life, when really, I'm just floating along. I rarely stand up for myself, but I'm learning to stand up for what is right.
Anyway, here is where I move outside my comfort zone and just do it!

Hi

WOW! Has it really been...what? ... like 10 months or so since I've written? I have lived a lifetime in those months! My hopeful anticipation of an exciting career soon turned into a harassing, anxiety ridden hell, fueled by hateful bully's that I DO NOT want to remember. I thankfully had someone looking out for me who pulled me out of the situation and gave me the opportunity to finally be the author of my own future! SO! that being said, onward to the next chapter (episode already in progress)!

Settling In

I finally got released to be on my own (with a seasoned partner of course) and it feels good. I'm slowly learning the job, getting the much needed experience to feel comfortable in my skin. It's happening far to slowly for me, but I do see a difference, a new confidence in myself that I've never had before.
I'm afraid to even whisper the words, but I think, just maybe, this might be, a good holiday season.
Things have been AMAZING on every front, my personal relationships are thriving, my professional life is fulfilling, my spiritual self is peaceful...I thank God for my blessings everyday.