Fall

I miss the autumn season, I do appreciate Florida for all the uniqueness that it is (and the freaks it's home to), but, I miss Fall.


The rest of the U.S. is talking about fall decor, you show me pictures of your kids wearing long sleeves and pants, and I'm stuck with highs in the 90's and lows in the upper 70's. I do appreciate the weather come full-on winter...but I miss Fall.


Growing up on Long Island, for Halloween, you had to make sure a coat would fit under your costume, now I make sure my kids won't get too hot (the full body Elmo of 8 years ago was a HUGE mistake) and stay properly hydrated. I can't buy pumpkins for the front porch too early or they rot too fast, and the smell of a cinnamon broom in the sunny front window, of a shop, on a 90 degree day is nauseating. I miss wearing a sweatshirt with shorts, the damp, earthy smell of piles of fallen leaves. I miss fall produce stands and apples fresh off the tree.



I think I'm gonna go to the attic (maybe in the evening, or early morning, you have no earthly idea how hot it is up there) on my next day off and make some Fall happen at my house. To heck with the temperature outside, I had to give up Fall to get 7 months of summer, I can live with that, at least I can visit Fall by coming to see you!





I don't know where this came from and I deleted a lot of it as unrecognizable to anyone not from Florida but I though I'd share some of what I got for giving up Fall.



You might be a Floridian if...


"Down South" means Key West.


"Panhandling" means going to Pensacola.


Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church. No, wait, flip flops are good for church too.


Socks are only for bowling.


Orange juice from concentrate makes you vomit.


Tap water makes you vomit.


An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.


You measure distance in minutes.


You have a drawer full of bathing suits...and one sweatshirt.


You HATE the tourists who feed seagulls.


You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.


All the local festivals are named after a fruit.


A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.


Your winter coat is made of denim.


You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.


You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot and Christmas.


You also take note of the other seasons: Love bug season, hurricane season and snowbird season.


Anything under 70 is chilly.


You've hosted a hurricane party.


You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.


You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.


You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.


You have to drive north to get to The South.


You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for-but your electricity WILL go out!!!!


You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances...but Charley , Frances , Ivan and Jeanne.


You know why flamingos are pink.


You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.

You know what? I think I kinda like it here.