A couple of days ago, I was in a mood. It started with something that annoyed me and I didn't say anything...well, ummm, it morphed into something big, childish and ugly. Suddenly everything was irritating and just kept feeding the beast. I let go in a shouting, cussing, slamming things down kinda way. It wasn't pretty.( I'm blushing right now just writing about it).
For my efforts, I got it thrown right back at me. It was ugly, it's happened a couple of times before, and I'll say, I never want it to happen again.
I (mistakenly) thought that "letting it out" would make me feel better. Not a chance, I realized, as I was ranting, that all the things I was complaining about were petty, so what if Sam's club cant put anything in the same spot two weeks in a row( for example). I don't want to be that person to whom every little irritant is cause for a big hulla-baloo. I want to cherish my blessings and not waste my energy ranting about the little things.
To accomplish that, I've discovered, I need to voice my irritation with certain things and not let them sit and start sucking all the other negative thoughts into it. Angry is not an emotion I like, in myself nor directed at me.
Communication is key and we have struggled with it over the years, we both have a problem with holding things in, so as not to burden or bother the other, until it gets bigger than it needed to be in the first place. Neither of us thinks enough of our own thoughts and feelings to imagine the other wants to know, to help, or just hear.
With every ounce of my being, I intend to be conscious of my own feelings about what matters and what doesn't, to voice my opinion when it really matters to me, and not let the little things get in the way of counting my blessings.